"The oceans are the biggest issue facing us, but it's solvable."

When Stephen is "astounded by the brilliance of something", you have to take note:

 

http://endoftheline.com Astounding&horrifying but there's hope there too. Great film. Just what cinema needs. A real issue: but we can win.

5th on twitter but...

...isn't that commiserations? There are lots of congratulations tonight for stephen ranking 5th - but a few weeks ago he was 4th, and possibly even 2nd for a while!!! Arggh.. i must go and commiserate with a voddy... :)

Where is Stephen?

No need to worry, our beloved Stephen is some way off the coast of Mexico on a ship (we hope) looking for and filming whales. He has very little signal and therefore warned his followers that he could be incommunicado for the best part of six days. That explains the silence, but of course we are really looking forward to the pictures when he gets back.

the personal touch

A birthday poem from @stephenfry to @violetxoxox

 

"Roses are sour, violets are sweet And that's the end of your birthday tweet."

 

(You charmer!)

Pounded between the thighs

It was never the intention to "re-blog" Stephen's tweets here; merely provide background supporting information to his new followers. But of course, the rules are there to be broken, and if one man would require you to do so, it's Mr. F. His Mexican Mule riding episode (to see cave paintings) is described in a such a lusciously funny way (what else?), I just had to share it for anyone that missed it:

 

Dearest follow-fellows. Suck my pants and call me Noreen, what a day. Epic. Epic beyond imaging. Will take some posts to describe.
Dateline: Santa Martha, Mulegé, Baja California, Mexico. Task: filming for BBC docco, Last Chance to See. Filming pre-Columbian cave paintings high above arroyo in Sierra S Francisco. Means of transport: mules for us, donkeys for camera kit.

 

After 3 hrs on board a mule, your humble tweeter's fesses and nates are tortured and tormented beyond hope... a testicle snuggled in each armpit vowing never to descend again: "that's twice and both times a disaster" ... Inner thighs more anguished and outraged than an Italian defender protesting innocence in the penalty box.... So. Three hours on "Perda" my mula who bounced and jiggered like Jaba's tits and took delight in brushing me past cactus.

Thanks, btw, to those who warned me to choose long trousers. Had I worn shorts I'd be red fleshy pulp from the waist down. When the camera wasn't rolling I tried dismounting and walking. Slid down scree and scrabbled up shale, barking, gashing, lacerating... You have to hand it to these beasts. Their sure-footedness is a miracle. Millions of years to perfect 4-hoofed precision. Shame about the personality though. Asininity and stubbornness of their donkey genes mixed with the stupidity and angst of the equine. My recent weight loss probably helped them. Being relatively less steatopygous didn't help me though. Or stearopygous if you prefer. Still, paintings were impressive.

 

Will I be stiff when I wake up tomorrow? - Oh shush, I'm disappointed in you. You know what I mean. Aside from feeling as tho I've been buggered by a train and stoned by a crowd of homo-hating fanatics, I'm tired & need a drink... And even as I tweet, we round the corner and drive up our hotel. See you in a vodka and a half ... xxx

Despite the delirium, Stephen is back on form...

Following a drug-crazed round of Ambien and Tequila, many of us thought Stephen might have gone one drink too far, and thus breathed a sigh of relief when he tweeted the next day. Those tweets have been most entertaining and clearly Mr. F. is back on form, with the following conversation (amidst the whale pictures)....

 

Purdy much feeling better: the Ambien Tequila "cure" cured nothing but gave me 11 hours (weird) sleep. Not recommended, lol!

Director just casually dropped a bombshell. I have to ride a mule tomorrow. A thousand boiling arses. Two hours up a mountain. Buttery f*ck. The morrow will bring weary thighs and much else besides. Till then x

Anagrams of "Laptop Machines"?

well, it's Apple Macintosh of course, though there are more:

http://tinyurl.com/cl73ju

(or laptop machine: http://tinyurl.com/c3ua8t )