Pounded between the thighs

It was never the intention to "re-blog" Stephen's tweets here; merely provide background supporting information to his new followers. But of course, the rules are there to be broken, and if one man would require you to do so, it's Mr. F. His Mexican Mule riding episode (to see cave paintings) is described in a such a lusciously funny way (what else?), I just had to share it for anyone that missed it:

 

Dearest follow-fellows. Suck my pants and call me Noreen, what a day. Epic. Epic beyond imaging. Will take some posts to describe.
Dateline: Santa Martha, Mulegé, Baja California, Mexico. Task: filming for BBC docco, Last Chance to See. Filming pre-Columbian cave paintings high above arroyo in Sierra S Francisco. Means of transport: mules for us, donkeys for camera kit.

 

After 3 hrs on board a mule, your humble tweeter's fesses and nates are tortured and tormented beyond hope... a testicle snuggled in each armpit vowing never to descend again: "that's twice and both times a disaster" ... Inner thighs more anguished and outraged than an Italian defender protesting innocence in the penalty box.... So. Three hours on "Perda" my mula who bounced and jiggered like Jaba's tits and took delight in brushing me past cactus.

Thanks, btw, to those who warned me to choose long trousers. Had I worn shorts I'd be red fleshy pulp from the waist down. When the camera wasn't rolling I tried dismounting and walking. Slid down scree and scrabbled up shale, barking, gashing, lacerating... You have to hand it to these beasts. Their sure-footedness is a miracle. Millions of years to perfect 4-hoofed precision. Shame about the personality though. Asininity and stubbornness of their donkey genes mixed with the stupidity and angst of the equine. My recent weight loss probably helped them. Being relatively less steatopygous didn't help me though. Or stearopygous if you prefer. Still, paintings were impressive.

 

Will I be stiff when I wake up tomorrow? - Oh shush, I'm disappointed in you. You know what I mean. Aside from feeling as tho I've been buggered by a train and stoned by a crowd of homo-hating fanatics, I'm tired & need a drink... And even as I tweet, we round the corner and drive up our hotel. See you in a vodka and a half ... xxx