the personal touch

A birthday poem from @stephenfry to @violetxoxox

 

"Roses are sour, violets are sweet And that's the end of your birthday tweet."

 

(You charmer!)

Pounded between the thighs

It was never the intention to "re-blog" Stephen's tweets here; merely provide background supporting information to his new followers. But of course, the rules are there to be broken, and if one man would require you to do so, it's Mr. F. His Mexican Mule riding episode (to see cave paintings) is described in a such a lusciously funny way (what else?), I just had to share it for anyone that missed it:

 

Dearest follow-fellows. Suck my pants and call me Noreen, what a day. Epic. Epic beyond imaging. Will take some posts to describe.
Dateline: Santa Martha, Mulegé, Baja California, Mexico. Task: filming for BBC docco, Last Chance to See. Filming pre-Columbian cave paintings high above arroyo in Sierra S Francisco. Means of transport: mules for us, donkeys for camera kit.

 

After 3 hrs on board a mule, your humble tweeter's fesses and nates are tortured and tormented beyond hope... a testicle snuggled in each armpit vowing never to descend again: "that's twice and both times a disaster" ... Inner thighs more anguished and outraged than an Italian defender protesting innocence in the penalty box.... So. Three hours on "Perda" my mula who bounced and jiggered like Jaba's tits and took delight in brushing me past cactus.

Thanks, btw, to those who warned me to choose long trousers. Had I worn shorts I'd be red fleshy pulp from the waist down. When the camera wasn't rolling I tried dismounting and walking. Slid down scree and scrabbled up shale, barking, gashing, lacerating... You have to hand it to these beasts. Their sure-footedness is a miracle. Millions of years to perfect 4-hoofed precision. Shame about the personality though. Asininity and stubbornness of their donkey genes mixed with the stupidity and angst of the equine. My recent weight loss probably helped them. Being relatively less steatopygous didn't help me though. Or stearopygous if you prefer. Still, paintings were impressive.

 

Will I be stiff when I wake up tomorrow? - Oh shush, I'm disappointed in you. You know what I mean. Aside from feeling as tho I've been buggered by a train and stoned by a crowd of homo-hating fanatics, I'm tired & need a drink... And even as I tweet, we round the corner and drive up our hotel. See you in a vodka and a half ... xxx

Despite the delirium, Stephen is back on form...

Following a drug-crazed round of Ambien and Tequila, many of us thought Stephen might have gone one drink too far, and thus breathed a sigh of relief when he tweeted the next day. Those tweets have been most entertaining and clearly Mr. F. is back on form, with the following conversation (amidst the whale pictures)....

 

Purdy much feeling better: the Ambien Tequila "cure" cured nothing but gave me 11 hours (weird) sleep. Not recommended, lol!

Director just casually dropped a bombshell. I have to ride a mule tomorrow. A thousand boiling arses. Two hours up a mountain. Buttery f*ck. The morrow will bring weary thighs and much else besides. Till then x

Anagrams of "Laptop Machines"?

well, it's Apple Macintosh of course, though there are more:

http://tinyurl.com/cl73ju

(or laptop machine: http://tinyurl.com/c3ua8t )

just how many hangover cures can you have?

Poor Stephen!
As well as suffering a bad hangover from the opening of Cecconi's in LA - which even his morning walk didn't cure - once he'd announced the fact, he was deluged with several hundred responses in a matter of minutes. Many suggestions for hangover cures came in - here are some of them:

• Gatorade
• IRN BRU
• various forms of eggs (scrambled, omelette) with various drinks
• orange juice + salt
• 3 Fried eggs, chilli paste, mango chutney between 2 slices of brown bread
• 1 berocca, 2 solpadeine, 1 motilium, echinacea oil and a valium in a pint of water
• large greasy breakfast
• lucozade
• keep drinking
• French onion soup...
  
  and so it goes on...
  sadly though, all the replies probably only added to Stephen's headache :)

Why is Stephen's Twitter Picture blacked out?

I'm blacked out: Stand up against "Guilt Upon Accusation" for New Zealand http://creativefreedom.org.nz/blackout.html http://nzblackout.org/

feeling smoochy for Valentine's?

buy a A kiss from the lips of: Stephen Fry (click the heading)
Whether you adore the man, the brain or the infallible wit, a kiss from Stephen is bound to be an inspiring life-moment that you'll never forget...

Some anagrams of "Stephen Fry, Website Killer!"

Poor Stephen, today his tweets took down 2, 3 maybe 4 or more websites - even if temporarily - including the one selling his own newly-launched t-shirts, due (no doubt) to his twitter followers hitting them all in a huge flood.

To celebrate the fact Mr. Fry popularity can now bring fear and trembling to every webmaster, I've created a few anagrams. Can you do better? (I'm using "twit" to mean tweet).  I started with: "Stephen Fry, Website Killer!"

spell fine twit; hey, berserk.

sensible fry tweet; help! irk!

I'll pen fishy tweet. berserk!

Byte spike, hellfire strewn!

Risky tweet befell her spin.

Brisk, fleet, pithy newsreel.

Where can I get my Stephen Fry t-shirt?

Well, assuming the site hasn't croaked (as it did when Mr. F announced his fashion item), just click the heading. And/Or visit the blog post.

What's a Power Monkey?

Click the heading. All manner of cool gadgets for portable power.

WTF & RTFM?

"What The Heck??"  and "Read The Blasted Manual"